Between A Rock and A Hard Place

What if this is as good as it gets? What if second gear is all this machine, called my life, is able to shift to because the third, fourth and fifth gears are simply not available? What if this is where I'm meant to be? What if my expectations are nothing more than wishful thinking? What if, after all that work, I already did "arrive" and just do not see it that way and thereby effectively blinding me to expect more? What if I have already attained my limits and I am just trying to overextend my reach?

Maybe this is all there is to it.

My Niece: Jillian Reese

Isn't she the cutest?

Bite Off More than One Can Chew

I'm having a great deal of difficulty with this 10pm to 6am schedule. I find that it's harder to concentrate on little things that I badly need to do...LIKE STUDY FOR THE BIG ONE!!! It's just been a little over a week since I got the night shift but it feels like ages. I'm irritable and I feel like sleeping all the time. I'm sleepy when I'm awake but I'm half awake when I'm supposed to be sleeping. Man, I'm really starting to think that scheduling The Big One this May was a huge mistake. With the rate things are going, I won't be able to comfortably cover all the topics that I need to read with the time I have left. GGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

The Dynamic Duo

I would just like to thank the dynamic duo for showing me around the work area and taking me under their wing. I learned a lot of useful stuff from them and I'm sure I'll continue to learn some more as the days go by. I am blessed to have you guys as my teachers :-) One more thing, there's nothing like a 22 year old girl telling a 31-year old man to do his job -- that's one wake up call that stings! Ouch!

DispatcheD ! ! !

I am so psyched! Finally, after a few months of patiently waiting I'm off to my first "attachment". Don't get me wrong, I appreciate and totally enjoy basking in the cool climate of our HQ where I was able to study in preparation for the Big One but I was starting to feel left out as most of my batch-mates were already moving from one attachment to another.
I don't have any misgivings about being placed in the night shift but I just thought that after leaving my old CS job that I'll never come in for work at night anymore. I do consider this as a blessing though because night = fewer patients which means a smooth transition for me from doing minimal work for the past few months at HQ to a relatively not so busy scene which gives me ample time to learn the ropes of the new place. This is just perfect for someone who's a little bit slow on the uptake. Sweet.

RN Bum No More

I can't express how happy I am! There will be exclamation marks all over the place so forgive me! After more than 6 months of slamming doors and seemingly impregnable walls, I finally caught a break and landed a job! This is big! This makes up for all those times I was turned away because I didn't know the mayor or didn't have a hospital administrator for an uncle. Man o, man!

I owe a big "THANK YOU!" to a couple of friends who told me about the job opening...I never would of known, much more applied to X X X if not for them. Dennis, Marie...I thank you from the deepest recesses of my heart.

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God..." Romans 8:28.

It's already June so summer is officially over. That doesn't mean we can't hit the beach and fill our lungs with fresh air coming from the open seas. The pristine and unadulterated breeze certainly helps in purging the mind and spirit of accumulated negativity that one imbibes over time from living in the city.

Thanks hon! Where would I be without your constant badgering?
That was definitely better than just sitting at home :-)

All Bent Out of Shape

You know how it is when you're seeing red and you feel like you just have to let loose or else you're literally going to blow up? Then after a few minutes, you're all "what the heck was I so mad about", well that's what this sarcasm laced letter is. Frustration got the better out of me and I should have just let it slide and moved forward without a peep but I just had to speak my mind for my own sake.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wow, I really was a fool to think that an elitist organization like yours would ever take me in...an average person who didn't graduate from your fine institution. One would think that people of your "stature" and intelligence could have handled that so called "screening" last Monday (May 26.2008) in a more refined and professional manner. It just goes to show that intelligence and good manners don't come hand in hand.

I never thought I'd be written off just like that, yet here I am. Hmmmm...I wonder what the criteria was for selecting 40 lucky candidates out of the almost 200 that was there? Oh, right! They didn't tell us what the criteria was. Could it be because some of the slots were already taken by people who had connections and all they had to do was go there and act as if they were applying? Could it be that they had preferences as to where the applicant graduated from?
Too bad, I'll never know because they didn't bother to tell us how they were going to make the selection.

It took them NO more than 2 HOURS to "screen" the almost 200 strong applicants. It took me longer to write my letter of intent than for them to "screen" 200 people. What does that tell me? hmmm. If I was a malicious person, I'd think there was some cooking going on in there and I definitely didn't like the food. The snide and unfeeling comments of the two facilitators only revealed their prejudice and partiality. To what? I don't know. But saying "Di naman kami Fatima na tumatangap ng madami" and "yung mga tatawagin naming pangalan, pwede na kayong lumabas at subukan nyo sa ibang hospital, baka kailangan nila kayo dun" is quite telling of their state of mind. So no interview or any kind of interaction with the applicants were done. They looked at our credentials and that was it. To add insult to injury, we had to do a walk of shame on our way out of the room as our names were called. It felt very much like being voted off the island and I didn't even know SURVIVOR had a [name of hospital] version.

Damn right I'm sour graping...that I'm not related to some politician or some [name of hospital] staff who's got some clout.

Good luck to those who'll be applying. You'll need it more than your above 80% board rating.

Thanks!!!

Of Slamming Doors and Dead Ends

It’s been almost six months since I decided to quit my CS job and focus on getting my act together as a nursing professional. So for the last 160 days or so, I was at home bumming around trying to finish some PSP game or I was bouncing from one hospital to another trying to get the latest "word" if hospital A (to Z) was hiring. Now if they weren’t, the follow up questions were did they need volunteers, were they conducting trainings, do they have on the job trainings and other substantial queries I could think of just to make my visit worthwhile. Yeah I could have just called to get the information that I needed but that didn’t get me anywhere the first quarter of the year when I tried to let my fingers do the walking. You get the idea that it was a tedious and grueling process and the summer heat didn’t help either. I wouldn’t have minded all that if I had something to show for it after, but I didn’t. Some of these hospitals had train-to-hire schemes for a fee not lower than P8,000 (yes, we’ll pay them to work our butts off) but even these programs were always full. I've probably submitted 7 packets containing my credentials and I've yet to receive an email or a phone call saying "not in a million years" or something to that effect.
I’ve learned quite a few things these past few months and the lesson that resonated so loudly is that in this time of over abundance of nurses, its not what you know but who you know that matters in order to simply start your career. It’s hard not to paint everyone with the same brush when you can see it happening right in front of you. Nepotism and favoritism is definitely part of our culture and I don’t think that’s going to change anytime soon. My only request to people who’re able to callously get their sons, daughters or other relatives into a training program or even a position in a hospital simply because they work there or know someone who can pull some strings is to think of the people that were cut from the program or circumvented from getting a job because your son/daughter/relative TOOK it from them.
I’m currently waiting outside a huge closed door as I write this. When it opens in order to commence the process of screening train-to-hire applicants, I will find myself either taking my first step officially into my profession or once again have a slamming door in my face.

Manila to CDO in 3 days: My Poor Attempt to Chronicle the Trip

Almost 1400 km on land and who knows how many nautical miles, this was a trip that I thought would never happen. Road trips are economically and physically taxing and being the perennial homebody that I am, I'd rather catch a few z's, kick some alien butt on my PSP, see a nice movie in the comfort of our home or just read a good book. This time around though, I felt like I needed to just get out and go. So I went for it. The fact that Lino (Trip Boss)and I had been talking about doing this for some time and that he would be taking care of everything from the vehicles to our lodging made my decision much easier. Dex (Dr. Schumacher) and I were in between jobs so all we had to shell out was sustenance and our...ahem...highly developed pro driving skills.

It was a cold Saturday morning when The Trip Boss, Danica Patrick (Stella), Dr. Schumacher and I went on our sleepy but merry way. We were on the SLEX around 3 a.m. and Dr. Schumacher was first on the helm of Everest I. Ever the speed demon, Dr. Schumacher was eager to floor the accelerator of the vessel to showcase his Formula One prowess and display his oneness with the road. I was able to sway his urges early on (that didn't last, of course) so we were doing under a 100 km until we made our way out of the SLEX with The Boss trailing behind driving Fortuner 2 with Danica riding shotgun. We reached Lucena City around 6 a.m. and after maybe a couple more hours made our first scenic stop somewhere en route to the Gumaca town proper to stretch our legs and take in the fresh air.

We didn't get much sleep the night before...

Reaching the town proper, we unwittingly (I saw an old church and thought maybe it's something historic) made our way to the Cathedral of San Diego De Alcala and took a rather modest number of pictures because we simply didn't know back then that we were in the presence of the oldest and biggest Catholic church in the province of Quezon (from WOW Philippines website).

I was behind the wheel after we had brunch and if only Everest I could talk, he'd surely say "don't let that maniac drive me again" because Dr. Schumacher had a pissing contest earlier with another lunatic on the road. I don't remember who started it but neither driver wanted to back down and wouldn't let the other pass him. I felt like I was talking to a rabid dog who's seen a small animal run by as Dr. Schumacher ignored my instruction to slow down for my own safety. I don't condone reckless driving but Dr. Schumacher won that race hands down. Danica was driving Fortuner 2 at that time and I thought that she wouldn't be able to keep up, I was wrong because man, she CAN drive.

It was already near mid-afternoon when we caught sight of Mt. Mayon and thought that maybe we should make the stop and take some pictures. The images below were taken in the Cagsawa Ruins and unfortunately, only the foot of Mt. Mayon was visible in the pictures. Too bad really.

A very cloudy day

It was almost sundown when we reached Matnog where a barge will ferry us to the other side. I think it was 6 p.m. when we officially left the island of Luzon and headed for Samar.

The sign says "you are now leaving the island of Luzon"


Rose and Jack on the Titanic? heheh!

Thankfully, the barge ride didn't make any of us queasy as we sailed on calm waters for about an uneventful hour. It was really dark when we disembarked from the vessel and a light drizzle as well as bad, unlit roads welcomed us upon our arrival. Dr. Schumacher was driving again and the unfamiliar and bad road conditions didn't deter him from driving the way he usually does. After two hours or so, we reached Calbayog and spent the night there in a nice enough motel and that sums up how our first day of driving went.

The Boss served breakfast in bed and after dispensing with the morning pleasantries (read: bathroom/toilet business) and switching vehicles, we went on our way around 9:30 a.m. Wohooo! We were en route to Tacloban. Our second day was underway and driving Forturner 2 was sweet but the ride was a different story, I think it's safe to say that Everest I gives a smoother ride.

IF anyone asks me if I have gone "off-roading", I can honestly say that I have because the roads the night before could be considered the Uberbahn compared to the roads from Calbayog leading to Catbalogan. The unpaved roads were so bad that even monster trucks and mammoth buses were brought down to their knees by the craters and crevices. Yes I'm exaggerating but only a little bit. It was rough road to the nth degree. I had fun at first because I get to drive a on roads it's supposedly built for but after doing the look-out-for-moon craters -and-mounds then evade and recover maneuver numerous times, it gets physically and mentally tiring.

After going through and I can't remember how many kilometers from Catbalogan, we were back on paved roads and we knew that meant we were nearing the famous San Juanico Bridge that connected Samar and Leyte.

SAN JUANICO BRIDGE

Can we take pictures here? Yeah, knock yourselves out.

Too bad we left our fishing poles


When he's not drivin' he's filmin': Doc S's video of the bridge.

It was almost 3 p.m. when we stopped over at a local McDonalds in Tacloban for sustenance but The Boss informed us that if we don't make the 6 p.m. barge in Liloan, we might have to spend the night there and take the first barge the following day. After a lengthy discussion, we decided to try and catch the 6 p.m. barge and not take our sweet time getting there. After seating the fastest drivers on the helm we made our way to Liloan and since Dr. Schumacher and Danica were given free reign as to how fast they can go, I was virtually given front row seats to a car rally and drifting hybrid ride. So after throwing all caution out the window and with total disregard for our own personal safety and others, we were able to make it on time with minutes to spare. If we arrived a few minutes later, we might have stayed in the terminal for the night because other vehicles would have taken our place. I only have this to say, Doc and Danica can drive REALLY fast. We got on the barge, got ready for the 3 hour trip and left for Surigao, essentially from Visayas to Mindanao.

On barge no. 2 from Liloan to Surigao

Barge ride 2 was a little different from barge ride 1 in that it was longer and the sea was uneasy. The barge rocked to and fro, side to side quite a bit one hour or so into the voyage and it felt like the waves were getting bigger and stronger...so much so that I was secretly looking for the life preservers. I couldn't locate any. It was a good thing that my exhaustion overpowered my fear of the ship sinking so the rocking boat lulled me to sleep and I snored my way to Surigao.

It was a pleasant surprise that when we made our way out of the barge we were welcomed by the well lit, nicely paved roads of Surigao. Good thing The Boss has an aunt who resides in that quaint part of the country so our 2nd day ended with us sleeping comfortably and hassle-free.

The city hall and their version of Rizal Park is situated in the vicinity of where we stayed for the night. Yup, acted like tourists!

Nice shirts

The 3rd day started with a hearty breakfast and after taking care of business we were off to Butuan.

We drove on nothing but beautifully paved roads and bridges all the way to our last stop before reaching CDO. McDonald's was again our nutritional choice in Butuan and at that time I told myself that I wouldn't touch another burger with a 10-foot pole but I downed a Big Mac anyway. It sure was tasty. After that quick break we were on the road again, eagerly anticipating the end of the 3 day road trip which will officially end in a few hours. The drive was uneventful, bordering on boring but important thing was we were all safe and sound as we arrived in CDO around 7 p.m.

Personally, I felt that our arrival was a bit anticlimactic and the saying that "Life is about the journey and not the destination" somehow came to mind.