It's already June so summer is officially over. That doesn't mean we can't hit the beach and fill our lungs with fresh air coming from the open seas. The pristine and unadulterated breeze certainly helps in purging the mind and spirit of accumulated negativity that one imbibes over time from living in the city.

Thanks hon! Where would I be without your constant badgering?
That was definitely better than just sitting at home :-)

All Bent Out of Shape

You know how it is when you're seeing red and you feel like you just have to let loose or else you're literally going to blow up? Then after a few minutes, you're all "what the heck was I so mad about", well that's what this sarcasm laced letter is. Frustration got the better out of me and I should have just let it slide and moved forward without a peep but I just had to speak my mind for my own sake.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wow, I really was a fool to think that an elitist organization like yours would ever take me in...an average person who didn't graduate from your fine institution. One would think that people of your "stature" and intelligence could have handled that so called "screening" last Monday (May 26.2008) in a more refined and professional manner. It just goes to show that intelligence and good manners don't come hand in hand.

I never thought I'd be written off just like that, yet here I am. Hmmmm...I wonder what the criteria was for selecting 40 lucky candidates out of the almost 200 that was there? Oh, right! They didn't tell us what the criteria was. Could it be because some of the slots were already taken by people who had connections and all they had to do was go there and act as if they were applying? Could it be that they had preferences as to where the applicant graduated from?
Too bad, I'll never know because they didn't bother to tell us how they were going to make the selection.

It took them NO more than 2 HOURS to "screen" the almost 200 strong applicants. It took me longer to write my letter of intent than for them to "screen" 200 people. What does that tell me? hmmm. If I was a malicious person, I'd think there was some cooking going on in there and I definitely didn't like the food. The snide and unfeeling comments of the two facilitators only revealed their prejudice and partiality. To what? I don't know. But saying "Di naman kami Fatima na tumatangap ng madami" and "yung mga tatawagin naming pangalan, pwede na kayong lumabas at subukan nyo sa ibang hospital, baka kailangan nila kayo dun" is quite telling of their state of mind. So no interview or any kind of interaction with the applicants were done. They looked at our credentials and that was it. To add insult to injury, we had to do a walk of shame on our way out of the room as our names were called. It felt very much like being voted off the island and I didn't even know SURVIVOR had a [name of hospital] version.

Damn right I'm sour graping...that I'm not related to some politician or some [name of hospital] staff who's got some clout.

Good luck to those who'll be applying. You'll need it more than your above 80% board rating.

Thanks!!!

Of Slamming Doors and Dead Ends

It’s been almost six months since I decided to quit my CS job and focus on getting my act together as a nursing professional. So for the last 160 days or so, I was at home bumming around trying to finish some PSP game or I was bouncing from one hospital to another trying to get the latest "word" if hospital A (to Z) was hiring. Now if they weren’t, the follow up questions were did they need volunteers, were they conducting trainings, do they have on the job trainings and other substantial queries I could think of just to make my visit worthwhile. Yeah I could have just called to get the information that I needed but that didn’t get me anywhere the first quarter of the year when I tried to let my fingers do the walking. You get the idea that it was a tedious and grueling process and the summer heat didn’t help either. I wouldn’t have minded all that if I had something to show for it after, but I didn’t. Some of these hospitals had train-to-hire schemes for a fee not lower than P8,000 (yes, we’ll pay them to work our butts off) but even these programs were always full. I've probably submitted 7 packets containing my credentials and I've yet to receive an email or a phone call saying "not in a million years" or something to that effect.
I’ve learned quite a few things these past few months and the lesson that resonated so loudly is that in this time of over abundance of nurses, its not what you know but who you know that matters in order to simply start your career. It’s hard not to paint everyone with the same brush when you can see it happening right in front of you. Nepotism and favoritism is definitely part of our culture and I don’t think that’s going to change anytime soon. My only request to people who’re able to callously get their sons, daughters or other relatives into a training program or even a position in a hospital simply because they work there or know someone who can pull some strings is to think of the people that were cut from the program or circumvented from getting a job because your son/daughter/relative TOOK it from them.
I’m currently waiting outside a huge closed door as I write this. When it opens in order to commence the process of screening train-to-hire applicants, I will find myself either taking my first step officially into my profession or once again have a slamming door in my face.

Manila to CDO in 3 days: My Poor Attempt to Chronicle the Trip

Almost 1400 km on land and who knows how many nautical miles, this was a trip that I thought would never happen. Road trips are economically and physically taxing and being the perennial homebody that I am, I'd rather catch a few z's, kick some alien butt on my PSP, see a nice movie in the comfort of our home or just read a good book. This time around though, I felt like I needed to just get out and go. So I went for it. The fact that Lino (Trip Boss)and I had been talking about doing this for some time and that he would be taking care of everything from the vehicles to our lodging made my decision much easier. Dex (Dr. Schumacher) and I were in between jobs so all we had to shell out was sustenance and our...ahem...highly developed pro driving skills.

It was a cold Saturday morning when The Trip Boss, Danica Patrick (Stella), Dr. Schumacher and I went on our sleepy but merry way. We were on the SLEX around 3 a.m. and Dr. Schumacher was first on the helm of Everest I. Ever the speed demon, Dr. Schumacher was eager to floor the accelerator of the vessel to showcase his Formula One prowess and display his oneness with the road. I was able to sway his urges early on (that didn't last, of course) so we were doing under a 100 km until we made our way out of the SLEX with The Boss trailing behind driving Fortuner 2 with Danica riding shotgun. We reached Lucena City around 6 a.m. and after maybe a couple more hours made our first scenic stop somewhere en route to the Gumaca town proper to stretch our legs and take in the fresh air.

We didn't get much sleep the night before...

Reaching the town proper, we unwittingly (I saw an old church and thought maybe it's something historic) made our way to the Cathedral of San Diego De Alcala and took a rather modest number of pictures because we simply didn't know back then that we were in the presence of the oldest and biggest Catholic church in the province of Quezon (from WOW Philippines website).

I was behind the wheel after we had brunch and if only Everest I could talk, he'd surely say "don't let that maniac drive me again" because Dr. Schumacher had a pissing contest earlier with another lunatic on the road. I don't remember who started it but neither driver wanted to back down and wouldn't let the other pass him. I felt like I was talking to a rabid dog who's seen a small animal run by as Dr. Schumacher ignored my instruction to slow down for my own safety. I don't condone reckless driving but Dr. Schumacher won that race hands down. Danica was driving Fortuner 2 at that time and I thought that she wouldn't be able to keep up, I was wrong because man, she CAN drive.

It was already near mid-afternoon when we caught sight of Mt. Mayon and thought that maybe we should make the stop and take some pictures. The images below were taken in the Cagsawa Ruins and unfortunately, only the foot of Mt. Mayon was visible in the pictures. Too bad really.

A very cloudy day

It was almost sundown when we reached Matnog where a barge will ferry us to the other side. I think it was 6 p.m. when we officially left the island of Luzon and headed for Samar.

The sign says "you are now leaving the island of Luzon"


Rose and Jack on the Titanic? heheh!

Thankfully, the barge ride didn't make any of us queasy as we sailed on calm waters for about an uneventful hour. It was really dark when we disembarked from the vessel and a light drizzle as well as bad, unlit roads welcomed us upon our arrival. Dr. Schumacher was driving again and the unfamiliar and bad road conditions didn't deter him from driving the way he usually does. After two hours or so, we reached Calbayog and spent the night there in a nice enough motel and that sums up how our first day of driving went.

The Boss served breakfast in bed and after dispensing with the morning pleasantries (read: bathroom/toilet business) and switching vehicles, we went on our way around 9:30 a.m. Wohooo! We were en route to Tacloban. Our second day was underway and driving Forturner 2 was sweet but the ride was a different story, I think it's safe to say that Everest I gives a smoother ride.

IF anyone asks me if I have gone "off-roading", I can honestly say that I have because the roads the night before could be considered the Uberbahn compared to the roads from Calbayog leading to Catbalogan. The unpaved roads were so bad that even monster trucks and mammoth buses were brought down to their knees by the craters and crevices. Yes I'm exaggerating but only a little bit. It was rough road to the nth degree. I had fun at first because I get to drive a on roads it's supposedly built for but after doing the look-out-for-moon craters -and-mounds then evade and recover maneuver numerous times, it gets physically and mentally tiring.

After going through and I can't remember how many kilometers from Catbalogan, we were back on paved roads and we knew that meant we were nearing the famous San Juanico Bridge that connected Samar and Leyte.

SAN JUANICO BRIDGE

Can we take pictures here? Yeah, knock yourselves out.

Too bad we left our fishing poles


When he's not drivin' he's filmin': Doc S's video of the bridge.

It was almost 3 p.m. when we stopped over at a local McDonalds in Tacloban for sustenance but The Boss informed us that if we don't make the 6 p.m. barge in Liloan, we might have to spend the night there and take the first barge the following day. After a lengthy discussion, we decided to try and catch the 6 p.m. barge and not take our sweet time getting there. After seating the fastest drivers on the helm we made our way to Liloan and since Dr. Schumacher and Danica were given free reign as to how fast they can go, I was virtually given front row seats to a car rally and drifting hybrid ride. So after throwing all caution out the window and with total disregard for our own personal safety and others, we were able to make it on time with minutes to spare. If we arrived a few minutes later, we might have stayed in the terminal for the night because other vehicles would have taken our place. I only have this to say, Doc and Danica can drive REALLY fast. We got on the barge, got ready for the 3 hour trip and left for Surigao, essentially from Visayas to Mindanao.

On barge no. 2 from Liloan to Surigao

Barge ride 2 was a little different from barge ride 1 in that it was longer and the sea was uneasy. The barge rocked to and fro, side to side quite a bit one hour or so into the voyage and it felt like the waves were getting bigger and stronger...so much so that I was secretly looking for the life preservers. I couldn't locate any. It was a good thing that my exhaustion overpowered my fear of the ship sinking so the rocking boat lulled me to sleep and I snored my way to Surigao.

It was a pleasant surprise that when we made our way out of the barge we were welcomed by the well lit, nicely paved roads of Surigao. Good thing The Boss has an aunt who resides in that quaint part of the country so our 2nd day ended with us sleeping comfortably and hassle-free.

The city hall and their version of Rizal Park is situated in the vicinity of where we stayed for the night. Yup, acted like tourists!

Nice shirts

The 3rd day started with a hearty breakfast and after taking care of business we were off to Butuan.

We drove on nothing but beautifully paved roads and bridges all the way to our last stop before reaching CDO. McDonald's was again our nutritional choice in Butuan and at that time I told myself that I wouldn't touch another burger with a 10-foot pole but I downed a Big Mac anyway. It sure was tasty. After that quick break we were on the road again, eagerly anticipating the end of the 3 day road trip which will officially end in a few hours. The drive was uneventful, bordering on boring but important thing was we were all safe and sound as we arrived in CDO around 7 p.m.

Personally, I felt that our arrival was a bit anticlimactic and the saying that "Life is about the journey and not the destination" somehow came to mind.

Papa

No longer will I hear him caution me about life or just about my driving. No longer will I hear him sound asleep when I come home late. No longer will I see him drink his freshly brewed coffee with a contented face after the first sip. No longer will I see him on his couch watching TV. No longer will I hear him comment on the latest fiasco the government finds itself in. No longer will I hear him call out my name. No longer will I have this invisible net that I know will catch me when I fail. No longer can I draw strength from him when I find mine to be wanting.

All I have is this scar that refuses to go away.

What I would give to go back in time and cherish every single moment spent with him and not take him for granted. If I could just take back everything I've done or said that was hurtful to him and be the perfect son. If only I straightened out my life early so he could have seen me succeed and be truly proud of his second son. If only I could have told him more often that I love him.

The only thing I can think of doing now is treasure the fond memories I have of him...and that will have to be enough.

glib

"My entire life has been about the same cause, which is making sure wherever you come from, whatever your family is, whatever the color of your skin, you get a real chance to do something great in this country."

- John Edwards

MiracleS

Wohooo!

I passed!

I am so happy that nothing can dampen my spirit… for a month!! Passing that freak of an exam was nothing short of a miracle. I of course, have God to thank most of all because no way would I have made it without Him. My friends and family also had a big part in THAT feat. I felt sorry for not having done a chore or of had gone out with them because I was “studying” but most of the time, I really wasn’t…the boob tube was a huge distraction. Now I don't have to feel bad about that, hehehe.

God, thank you for sparing my face from that huge egg :-)

Judgment Day

The moment of truth will be on the 27^th or 28^th. Early next week will bring either a great deal of joy for me and my family or a mammoth sized egg on my face that will never wash off. I am hopeful that a favorable verdict will come to pass and I’d be spared the embarrassment, humiliation and shame of immense failure.

Let there be celebrations!

PLEASE!!!

No Call No Show

When it rains, it pours. Literally.

It was raining hard Tuesday night, I thought about not coming in to work because a mini Mississippi river was flowing right in front of our house. As luck would have it, the rain weakened so I unwillingly went out and fought the receding flood that was right in our doorsteps. I said to myself “this is going to be a long commute” after arriving at the place where I’m supposed to wait for a jeep to work, it started to rain hard again and I saw people treading knee deep waters and vehicles were being pushed by their anxious drivers and enterprising bystanders. It was time to call in and notify somebody at Workforce (OSC) that I won’t be able to come in.

Here’s how the conversation went:

I gave my name and department

Me: I won’t be able to come in today because I’m stranded.

Prick from WF: (after looking me up in his system)

So you can’t come in due to (sic) flood?

Me: Yes

Prick from WF: What time is your shift? (even though it shows in his system)

Me: 9:00pm

Prick from WF: So you’re calling in a few minutes before your shift starts? You’re suppose to call in 2 hours before your shift starts if you’re going to be absent.

Me: I was on my way to work but I can’t get a ride because of the knee deep water in the area.

Prick from WF: (as if not hearing anything that I’ve been saying) I’m going to tag this as

A … no-call ----- no-show.

ME: What? I’m at a sari sari store right now making this call. The reason I’m here, stranded, is because I wanted to come in but can’t… again because of impassable roads and all. You can come and pick me up here if you like.

Prick from WF: (as if not hearing anything that I’ve been saying, again) I’m going to give you a confirmation number and will transfer you to a TM (TL). Your confirmation number is……..

Me: (Right, like I was going to whip out a pen and paper or my mobile phone at a sari sari store). OK.

Prick from WF: I’m transferring your call now, don’t hang up.

Me: I WON’T

Unknown TM: Hello

Me: Who’s this?

Unknown TM: I’m ****

Me: (didn’t quite get the name) Can I talk to TM ****?

Unknown TM: He’s not around but I’ll handle your concern.

Me: OK. I’m not coming in because (repeating myself again)…

Unknown TM: You’re supposed to call 2 hours before your shift….you’re aware of that, right?

Me: But I didn’t plan on not coming in, it’s just that I’m stranded right now. Should I have called 2 hours before every time it rains hard?

Unknown TM: You live in the area so you should know if flood is going to be a problem.

Me: (silence)

Unknown TM: (Thinking he’s got me stumped) Am I right? You can come in late if you don’t want to get a NCNS.

Me: So you’re telling me to wait the rain and flood out?

Unknown TM: Yes.

Me: (silence)

Unknown TM: Just text or call *** if you decide to come in or not.

Me: Ok.

To be continued…NOT

16th Floor Musing

Seeing the light shine through the clouds

early in the morning gives me a certain

reassurance that everything will be okay.

It is the complete opposite of the dread

and extreme feeling of doom that I feel

during the night. This happens

everyday and I doubt that my emotions

pertaining to this will ever change. I've

felt this way 4 years ago, I'll feel the

same way in the future. The work I'm

doing doesn't have anything (well,

partly) to do with it, it's a simple case

of night equals bad and day equals good.

Simple as that. It's 5:30 a.m. now and

the sun is getting brighter and eating

the night away. I can't help but think

how symbolic that is. The night has gone

and the day has come to take its rightful

place as the king of the world. What a

righteous and magnificent king it is. The

night will surely shroud the day but

forever it will not.